


Things That Fly but Can't Land

by gaywitch



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:56:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaywitch/pseuds/gaywitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She wants to reach out and grab Mandy's hand. But Mandy isn't gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things That Fly but Can't Land

Karen only knows two things about Mandy Milkovich: her name and that she fucks girls. The latter is more interesting than the former.

So she starts giving Mandy looks when she passes her in the hallways or leaving the locker room. Just a quick up-and-down, sometimes accompanied by a smirk but never longer than a few seconds. It doesn't take long for Mandy to start giving them back.

One night Karen rides the bus home by herself. She has her headphones in and her eyes glued to the screen of her ipod as she flicks through song after song looking for something decent to listen to. She doesn't take note of it when someone sits down next to her until she gets the vague feeling that she's being watched. Karen's eyes shoot up and meet Mandy's. 

The other girl gives Karen a sly, pointed look as the bus shudders to a halt. Karen slings her bag over her shoulder and grins as she follows Mandy off the bus.

They fuck in a gas station bathroom.

Afterwards Karen stands in front of the sink, buttoning her blouse, putting her hair back in place. Straightening herself up. She watches Mandy through the mirror as she lights a cigarette and takes a long drag, making the small room cloudy and stuffy. The brunette closes her eyes and tilts her head back, blowing out a steady stream of smoke.

"How did you know?" Mandy says. Karen turns around and plucks the cigarette out of her hand.  
"Everyone knows Mindy Carlson can't keep her mouth shut." she says, taking a puff off the stolen cigarette. "You oughta be more careful about who you fuck." She winks at Mandy and walks home by herself.

**

Karen learns pretty quickly that careful isn't really Mandy's thing. Sometimes they fuck in the bathroom at the mall, or in the park while everyone else is asleep in their homes and sometimes Mandy even slides her hand up Karen's skirt when they sit next to each other on the bus. Always somewhere public, somewhere anyone could walk in on them.

"You know, sometimes I think you want to get caught." Karen snaps one day after a particularly close call. Mandy snorts.

“Yeah, sure.” She says. “It’s at the top of my to-do list. Right under getting hit by a car.” She says. Something in her tone makes Karen think maybe Mandy wouldn't mind getting hit by a car all that much. She doesn't know why that thought should make her insides twist up the way they do and she tries not to think about it on the way home.

**

She doesn't know how it happens, but one day Mandy walks her home from school and it becomes kind of a habit. 

"Hey, if it puts another hour between me and the shithole I call home then I'm game." Mandy says, shrugging when Karen questions why she goes so out of the way every day.

The walks are mostly uncomfortable silence at first, but eventually they start talking and Karen learns that Mandy's really funny, in a morbid way. And that she's way smarter than she seems. And that she takes Facebook too seriously, but even that's sort of endearing. 

Almost without warning Karen realizes that she thinks of Mandy as her friend.

**

She knows she's not supposed to like Mandy and she knows the reasons why. Mandy slept with her ex(boyfriend, fuck buddy, whatever) at least once, for one. So they're supposed to hate each other, sneer at each other when they cross paths and call each other skanks. But it's hard to maintain that kind of animosity with someone you're fucking and Karen can't seem to muster up the energy for something that seems so pointless. So.

She likes Mandy.

She likes that she always smells like smoke and citrus, and that she pulls Karen’s hair when she’s about to come, and that she burps without excusing herself. Karen feels startled when she catches herself noticing these things, and even more so when she catches herself wanting to notice more.

Mandy always smokes after sex. She purses her lips when she's nervous or upset. She wears knitted hats even when it's really hot out. Karen notices.

**

One day Karen convinces Mandy to come to her house. Her mom is asleep in her room, thank God, so she doesn't bother them, but Mandy still looks uncomfortable.  
“You alright?” Karen asks as she shows Mandy upstairs.  
“Yeah,” Mandy says unconvincingly. “It’s just...quiet here.”

They get to Karen’s room and she locks the door behind them. And it's good, really good when they don't have to rush. Mandy even stays in her bed for a while after, her arms wrapped around Karen's waist and her head resting on her chest.

The light from the window begins to fade and Karen is dozing off, her cheek pillowed on Mandy’s head and her eyes closed. She’s on the edge of sleep when she feels Mandy stir and leave the bed. Karen yawns and rubs groggily at the corners of her eyes.  
“Heading out?” She says, sitting up and watching as Mandy sifts through the pile of clothes next to the bed.  
“Gotta get home before one of my dumb ass brothers gets hungry and sets the stove on fire.” Mandy says. Karen curls her knees up to her naked chest and watches the other girl get dressed.

"Hey," she says with a forced lightness. She wants to sound casual, like the thought just popped into her mind. Like it didn't mean anything. "When did you know? Like, for sure?"  
"Know what?" Mandy answers absent-mindedly while buttoning her jeans. Karen hesitates a few moments. The spot where Mandy had just been lying next to her still feels warm.  
"That you were, you know..." She regrets the words as soon as they're out of her mouth. Mandy freezes.

"I'm not gay." Her voice is low, tense. She shoots Karen a sideways look and Karen wonders what she looks like, if Mandy caught the quick downward twitch of her mouth.  
"I just like getting my pussy licked." Mandy adds offhandedly. She responds to Karens questioning look by rolling her eyes.  
"By someone who knows what they're doing." She grins, picking up one of Karen's shirts lying on the floor and tossing it at her playfully.

Karen laughs, but she feels a little off for the rest of the day. Like someone took out all of her organs and put everything back in the wrong place.

**

Karen talks to Mandy like everything is normal when they walk home from school the next day, but she can't get rid of the dull ache in the pit of her chest. She wants to reach out and grab Mandy's hand. But Mandy isn't gay.

**

They keep hooking up and walking home together. Mandy acts like the other day never happened Karen doesn't bring it up. Everything is pretty much normal, except now Mandy doesn't kiss her or hang around after they fuck.

The ache doesn't go away but it does become more manageable.

**

One afternoon they hook up in a dressing room. 

Mandy has her clothes back on and Karen is buttoning her shirt when she catches Mandy looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

"What?" Karen asks, smiling nervously. Mandy is silent, her lips pursed and her eyes fixed on Karen, an indiscernible expression on her face. Karen feels like a germ under a microscope.

Mandy kisses her, quickly but urgently. Karen reaches up, touches her fingertips lightly to Mandy’s cheek, but she’s already pulling away and rushing out the door, leaving Karen alone.

She stands by herself in the dressing room, blinking and confused but happier than she has been in weeks.


End file.
